The fear of missing out, or FOMO in our age of pithy acronyms, is pervasive due to the unblemished lives we portray on social media. We see the shiny pictures of others and envy takes hold as we rage that our lives aren't nearly that perfect.
I'm guilty of it, too. I don't like talking about problems or worries in general, and certainly don't with relative strangers on social media. This can lead people to believe that, despite everything that has happened, I'm fine. Just fine. I've just picked up, moved on, and am just fine. And I can tell you, that is far from the truth.
Reality is much different than a series of filtered snapshots, and it struck me while I was reading a Humans of New York post. A young woman - smiling, happy, healthy - described a horrific car crash that she survived in her teens, but that killed her adored father and that pulverized her left hand. Not only did she lose the human she loved most, but her love of piano was taken from her as well, and during a time in life that is already tumultuous. Kudos to her for sharing her story but without that background, we would just see that smiling, happy, healthy young woman.
So, what are we missing out on, really? When we envy the lives of others, we are missing that lives are not those frozen snapshots. Lives include trauma, heartbreak, and unbearable grief. We can't pick and choose which parts of life we want to keep and which will just go away. I suppose this was a big reason why I wrote my book. I wanted to paint a more comprehensive picture of what grief was like for me.
If you find yourself caught in the mindless scroll and uneasiness grows, just remember that it's not true. Social media isn't life. We all carry heartache but you're still here and so are we, blemishes and all.
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